Your adventure begins with Episode 1: "Arrival" in which our hero, a retired spook, wakes to find himself upon a mysterious island.

Here's the statement Conan released and I have to say I'm in complete agreement with him.

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

NBC is really stupid if they waste a talent like Conan

TMZ.com

Jay Leno is going back to his 11:30 PM time slot, and it's looking like Conan O'Brien is the odd man out ... sources tell TMZ.

We've learned Jay's 10:00 PM show will go on hiatus February 1. After the Olympics, Jay will take back his 11:30 PM time slot. What has not been decided -- whether Jay's show will be a half hour, followed by Conan, or whether Jay's show will be an hour and NBC says sayonara to Mr. O'Brien.

We're told Jay and Conan have both been told of the changes. As for Jay, interestingly, he'll get what he always wanted -- his 11:30 PM time slot.

Gizmodo

Holy crap. It looks like the rumors were true. Futurama is BACK.

After four movies (most of which we covered here), Comedy Central decides that they want more of Futurama and renewed them for TWENTY SIX new episodes starting 2010. That's twice the amount of episodes that were rumored.

During his captivity, US marines forced Saddam, who was executed in 2006, to repeatedly watch the movie South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut, which shows him as gay, as well as the boyfriend of Satan. He was also regularly depicted in a similar manner during the TV series.

<..snip..>

Stone, 37, said both he and Parker, 39, were most proud of the signed Saddam photo, given to them by the US Army's 4th Infantry Division. He said: "We're very proud of our signed Saddam picture and what it means. Its one of our biggest highlights.

"I have it on pretty good information from the marines on detail in Iraq that they showed Saddam the movie.

"Over and over again – which is a pretty funny thought.

"That's really adding insult to injury."

Needless to say, this is severely NSFW.

the sopranos, uncensored. from victor solomon on Vimeo.

You can also find it on Solomon's webpage.

BBC NEWS

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak will be among the 13 competitors on the new season of Dancing with the Stars, US television network ABC has announced.

From Bill Hicks Home Page

The Late Show with David Letterman has scheduled a telecast of the never-aired October 1, 1993 Bill Hicks appearance. The show was pre-taped Jan. 26th (with Bill's mom as a guest) and will air Friday, January 30th on your local CBS affiliate. We'd like to acknowledge and thank Bill's many fans and everyone who has had a hand in keeping Bill's comedy and philosophy alive. We hope everyone can tune in and experience what you may have missed or what you barely remembger -- Bill Hicks performing for a national audience on network television.

(Major hat tip to Migor!)

UPDATE: Just finished watching the segment and am blown away at how personally involved Dave has gotten in the interview. He's NEVER like that. You could tell it really meant something to him. And Bill's mom was simply remarkable.

No, I'm not joking. She actually said this on national TV.

Defamer

While attempting to reference Deepak Chopra's recent remarks on the Mumbai massacre (he implied the terrorists had an eye on America), a frustrated Hasselbeck first called him "Glitter Glasses Whatshisface," and then, dismissing his comments as beneath her recognition, muttered, "Go light a bowl of incense." Why stop there, Elisabeth? Tell those minorities how you really feel using the most stereotype-laden kiss-offs you can muster! If your stylist tries to dress you in another pirate shirt? "Oh, go take your AIDS pills!" Joy Behar got you down? Just say, "Whatsa matta, you-a? Something land in your spaghetti? Oh, what-a spicy meatball!" It's fun, easy, and guaranteed to get the letters pouring in!

A bondsman says TV's Dr. Phil has posted $30 thousand bond for the ringleader of the eight Lakeland teens accused of kidnapping and beating a girl in front of a video camera.

It's believed Mercades Nichols will be talking about the case on his nationally syndicated show soon.

So I'm doubly disgusted to see Phil McGraw springing the ringleader to put her on his TV show. It's just another Oprah-esque self serving moment as one more cheap TV personality in a suit tries to make their bones off the misery of others. Isn't this just the sort of nonsense that cost McGraw his cushy job with Oprah. Remember? When he tried to set up that little "intervention" with Brit's family. You'd think he'd learn.But bailing out that vile girl and putting her on TV? That's just wrong. I'm sorry to be blunt, but that girl should be spending the rest of her life getting violated in the prison shower by someone a lot bigger and meaner and crueler that she is, and she shouldn't be on my TV set chatting it up with Dr. Phil. She's a little fucking monster who deserves to be locked up. I'm GLAD they're trying these kids as adults. They know right from wrong and they chose wrong. There's no waffling on this one. No excuses. The videotape is pretty clear. The last thing you hear is how they only have 17 seconds left so they'd better make it good. Sick fucks.

Oh wait...there's more!

The new video that shows the young woman being sprung from jail by a man that is identified as a producer on the Dr. Phil show is here. He appears to try to tell the other news networks involved that she is not allowed to talk as he has "exclusivity" of the girl. The bail was reportedly set at $33,000.

There is also a gag order in the case, so it seems foolish to try to put her on air. It is hard to see where Dr. Phil might try to go with this as few will likely side with Mercades Nichols or her publicity seeking mother. Dr. Phil blames the "staff member' and says that he went beyond their guidelines and that there will be no televised show featuring Mercades Nichols. So why was her bail paid for again?

A spokesperson for the Dr. Phil Show issued the following statement:

“We have helped guests and potential guests in the past when they need financial assistance to come on the show - assisting with clothing allowance, lost wages, accommodations, travel and necessities. In this case, certain staff members went beyond our guidelines (re: the bail being paid). These staff members have been spoken to and our policies reiterated. In addition, we have decided not to go forward with the story as our guidelines have been compromised.”

A deal has been struck between the major media companies and the Writers Guild of America to end the writers' strike, former Walt Disney chief executive Michael Eisner revealed on CNBC.

"It's over," Eisner said. "They made the deal, they shook hands on the deal. It's going on Saturday to the writers in general."

Eisner, speaking live on CNBC's "Fast Money," seemed to hesitate initially about whether it was possible that the writers could still reject the agreement, but finally suggested the deal's acceptance was inevitable.

"A deal has been made, and they'll be back to work very soon," Eisner said, adding, "I know a deal's been made. I know it's over."

Eisner did not elaborate on terms of the agreement. He said he expects most of the media companies affected by the strike to have "small" write-downs as a result of the deal. Eisner said the deal was struck last Friday.

David Letterman has secured a deal with the striking Writers Guild of America that will allow him to resume his late-night show on CBS next Wednesday with his team of writers on board, executives of several late-night shows said today.

Most of television’s late-night shows are scheduled to return to the air that night after being off for two months due to the strike, but it is likely that only Mr. Letterman, and the show that follows him on CBS hosted by Craig Ferguson, will be supported by material from writers.

The reason is that Mr. Letterman’s company World Wide Pants, owns both those shows. The company announced two weeks ago that it was seeking a separate deal with the guild that would permit the two World Wide Pants show to return to the air. The talks seemed to be at an impasse until today when the deal was completed.

A spokesman for Mr. Letterman’s company declined to comment.

Beyond the obvious advantage of having writers to supply comedy material that other shows will not have, Mr. Letterman’s and Mr. Ferguson’s shows will likely gain a benefit by being able to book guests who will not appear on shows still being struck by the Writers Guild.

Representatives of some of the other late-night shows have reported difficulty booking some the top-name actors in Hollywood, who have indicated reluctance to appear on shows whose networks are still among the entities the writers are striking against.